


Lawfully Wedded

by RarePairHare



Category: One Piece
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Luffy can dance, M/M, Unrepentant amounts of fluff, fight me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 14:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13503126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RarePairHare/pseuds/RarePairHare
Summary: "Would you be my bitch for hopefully forever?"Everything from proposal to the wedding itself. Extremely self indulgent fluff and good times. Lotsa friendship too.





	Lawfully Wedded

**Author's Note:**

> It took me 4 tries to upload this dang thing, so I hope you think it was worth it.

Usopp let out a huge sigh. No, not just huge. Enormous. It was large enough to shelter him and all his art supplies from the harsh rays of the sun, if he felt like working plein air. Dense and weighty enough to anchor and keep him if Franky ever decided to pull a Luffy and tackle-hug him with little to no restraint. All the stress and tension pent up in him from the necessary trials and tribulations of life just evaporate from him leaving him feeling cozy and warm and relaxed and cared for and- and attacked as his cocoon of bliss is broken by icy water droplets being flicked onto his face.

“Hey!” Usopp sputtered, shielding his face with his arms. “What the fuck Sanji?!”

Usopp cracked his eyes open to see Sanji’s upper body turned slightly to face him, the rest of him wholly devoted to doing the dishes in the sink, fond and impish mirth in his visible eye.

“Just bringing you back to Earth, Icarus” Sanji teased while going back to the dishes. “You looked like you were about ready to melt right in that chair. Pretty sure you were a second away from drooling.” Sanji snickered as Usopp blushed and hastily rubbed the back of his hand across his lips in attempt to wipe away any incriminating spittle. Usopp glared when his hand came away relatively clean.

“I’d retaliate, but I want dessert so I’ll bite my tongue and not the hand that feeds me.” Usopp mock pouted as he adjusted himself and sat upright in the chair. 

“Wise choice, but the biting should still be done though. Bite away”, Sanji says as he closed the tap. Usopp snorts and picks up his glass of water, putting it to his lips. As he drinks, Sanji takes of the rubber cleaning gloves (bright baby pink ones given to him as a Valentine’s Day gift a few years ago from his long nosed beau), and wipes his hands on a small hand towel. “Ready for dessert?” He asked as he steps away from the sink and turns to face Usopp.

“I’d like to recover from the main course before you blow my mind all over again, but I’ll take it on like the trooper I am.” Usopp all but declares and it’s Sanji’s turn to snort fondly. He leans down to plant a chaste but full peck onto Usopp’s forehead, tenderly framing one of his cheeks with his palm. Usopp leans into his touch and places his hand over Sanji’s, reveling in the sudden but pleasant warmth in the crook of his neck. Usopp closes his eyes and his face lights up like all he’ll ever need in life is right there in his little pocket of warmth. As Sanji leans back and straightens up, he sees Usopp’s face and makes an aborted sound in his throat, like he forcefully killed whatever words or sounds were about to make themselves known.

“Gkh!...”

Usopp opened his eyes to look at him curiously, “Sanji?”

Sanji’s eyes widen as if in momentary panic and he almost jerks his palm away from between Usopp’s hand and face, but calms down enough in time to instead turn his palm in Usopp’s and rub his thumb in brief affectionate circles along the back of Usopp’s hand before retracting his hand back to his side, making his earlier moment of panic almost imperceptible.

Almost.

Usopp observed Sanji to see he was blushing quite a bit and doing his best to not-so-subtly avoid eye contact with his boyfriend.

Curiosity morphed into concern. “Hey, is anythi-”

“Dessert!” Sanji abruptly exclaimed and walked around Usopp’s chair to the fridge.

Usopp decided to let it go for the moment as he saw Sanji bring out assorted fruits elegantly cut. They’ll talk after Usopp sobs about how blessed he is to have Sanji’s cooking in his daily life.

Every other Wednesday night is date night. About two years ago as their careers took off, they had less time for each other, with Sanji being a full time Chef and being asked to come supervise and coordinate the catering to whichever establishment that could afford him, and Usopp working at Franky’s auto shop and as a part time art teacher at an elementary school. And with Usopp also working at a publishing house, editing the work of others and also sometimes occasionally pumping out his own stories, and overall being an overachieving Jack of all trades, Sanji almost imploded from I-need-to-romance-and-spoil-my-partner-itis and they came up with this compromise. 

Sanji always pulled out all the stops. _Nothing less for my princess_ , he’d say and Usopp would always respond with _Ew._

 So nights like tonight were nothing out of the ordinary for them. Yet, Sanji was beginning to act a bit nervous, but brushed off any concern Usopp voiced. He decided to let it go and just enjoy the fruits. Just as he’d started, Sanji went back to the stove for a bit and returned with melted chocolate. He expertly dribbled as much as he knew Usopp liked onto his plate of fruits and they settled down to eat. Seeing Sanji was still a bit tense, Usopp reached over to his hand on the table and put his own hand over it and interlacing their fingers. Sanji looked up and made eye contact at this and smiled a bright genuine smile that shot cupid’s arrow right through Usopp’s heart for the umpteenth time in the years he’d been dating Sanji.

“Man, I’m stuffed!” Usopp announced to no one but them with glee. “If you wanted your dick sucked tonight, consider it done.” 

Sanji laughed a little bit but it came out as forced and his face became even redder. 

Usopp grinned in an attempt to comfort him. “Waaay too late in the game to be shy Mr. Prince”, Usopp winked. A bit of tension left Sanji’s shoulders and he let out a big belly laugh.

 He flicked the tip of Usopp’s long nose. Usopp recoiled a bit with an adorable (in Sanji’s opinion) frown as Sanji got up from his seat on their little dining table. It was a little thing; serviceable for four people, just right for three, and absolutely perfect for the two of them.

 “Th-There’s… There’s still _one_ last treat in this dessert”, Sanji said as he made his way to the fridge. 

Usopp watched him silently. If Sanji had been a six on a fraying nerves scale out of ten, he was definitely an eleven now. Especially considering how Usopp is one of the people he’s most comfortable around.

 He pulled out the last dessert piece from the freezer. It’s a small chocolate sphere decorated with little beautiful linework that raises itself from the surface.

 Again, Sanji usually pulls out all the stops on their bi-weekly dinner date nights so this still isn’t out of the ordinary. So Usopp just could not think about what reason Sanji would have to be nervous. 

“It looks great Sanji.” Usopp smiles up at Sanji as the sphere on a plate is set down in front of him, “But you already knew that.” 

“Damn straight.” Sanji smiles a bit more than he has in the past half hour and makes his way to the stove, but once he gets a hold of the pot with chocolate sauce, he shrinks into himself a bit. 

“Sanji!” Usopp says with a bit more impatience. “That’s it! We’re going to tal-”

 Sanji storms to the table and sets the small pot down on a table mat like it had offended him. “Just pour the shitty sauce on the shitty chocolate ball!” 

Usopp folds his hands giving Sanji a stern glare. 

“...Please.” Sanji said like he released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. 

Usopp scrutinized him for a moment more before giving in. “Fine”, and then he took the handle of the small pot and proceeded to to pour the hot viscous sauce on the intricate treat. As he did so, the chocolate ball proceeded to crumple and break. 

“Oh, I know these things! They’re pretty neat!” Usopp pretended to not hear Sanji mumble ‘Of course you know, and you should. Your boyfriend’s a fucking masterchef shithead!’ 

As the walls of the sphere folded in on themselves Usopp saw another more flat chocolate sphere inside, almost clementine shaped. This time it was white chocolate, and the contrast gave it style and beauty- nothing short of what you’d expect of Sanji’s culinary creations. 

Before he could debate using the sauce again Sanji broke in. “Y-You just use your fork from here…” 

Once again Usopp stomped down his concern but gave Sanji a face that said _This is not over young man!_ Sanji waved his hand dismissively and then used that hand to cover the visible half of his pace, but spread his middle and ring finger to see through.

 Resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn’t get any answers until the meal was over, Usopp did as he was told. He used his fork to break the delicate shell of the white chocolate. It gave way to his fork easily, and what Usopp laid his eyes on froze him in place.

 Inside was a cookie, a _fucking_ gorgeous cookie. It had alternated colors of very appealing creamy caramels and mouth watering rich dark browns. It’s surface glimmered with granules of sugar that looked like gemstones. But none of these things are what made Usopp hold his breath. 

Right in the middle of the cookie, very visible despite the attention demanding cookie, the flakes of broken white chocolate, was a ring. An elegantly simple yet stunning silver band, its surface so polished Usopp could probably see his future in it. And at the thought of said future -one too good to be true, a future so bright and wonderful that was better than anything his imagination could conjure up- he did the most appropriate thing he could:

 He fainted.

 

 

“-opp. Usopp. Usopp!” 

When Usopp came to it was to the sound of Sanji urgently calling his name. His eyes were still closed and he didn’t bother to open them, because all of a sudden it felt like a chore to even do that much.

 He soon realized he was on the couch in their apartment. Oh, he must have fallen asleep. He let out a little breath, half sigh, half laugh. 

“I had the craziest dream, wow! This is what I get for pulling too many night shifts.” Usopp stretched his arms and opened his eyes only to find the offending ring right back in his face.

 And behind the ring was Sanji. Sanji on one knee, crouched over Usopp, who was laid on the couch. Sanji had the ring pinched between his forefinger and thumb, face scrunched up in absolute determination and resolve, like he was taking the biggest shit and he was determined to get it out despite the constipation. 

Usopp almost shrieked again out of sheer impulse but Sanji beat him to the punch by lightly slapping his cheek and keeping his hand there. Even though it shouldn’t be possible, the furrow between Sanji’s eyebrows went even deeper. Sanji pushed the ring an inch more into Usopp’s face. Usopp looked comically cross eyed when he tries to focus on it.

 He then blinks owlishly up at Sanji. And poor Sanji is doing his best to maintain his composure. Usopp does nothing but look at Sanji like he’s an apparition of some sort.

 “I swear if you faint on me again I will kick your testicles into your throat.” Sanj says as his face became redder and redder until it looks like he’s the one about to faint. “I had this whole sickly sweet and intricate thing planned out like the romantic sap I am and you go and fucking faint on me!”

 Usopp is still too stunned to do anything but breathe and then Sanji lets out a breath and finally relaxes a tad. He took a deep breath and blew Usopp’s mind: “Would you be my bitch for hopefully forever?”

 Usopp’s reaction was instantaneous. He smacked both of his hands on Sanji’s cheeks, returning the earlier slap twofold.

 “What the-? What the shit was that for long nose?”

 “I was just making sure I’m not dreaming.” Usopp says, using his thumbs to caress Sanji’s face. He moved his hands further around Sanji, combing his fingers through his hair and lovingly massaging his scalp lightly.

 Sanji relaxes completely after being wound up for what must have felt like a millenia to him. His body sagged lethargically into Usopp’s welcoming embrace. “Aren’t you slapping the wrong person?”, he says as he begins to nuzzle his forehead with Usopp’s.

 “Well,” Usopp starts, the fingers he has in sanji’s hair tighten just a bit more. “You’re half of me now so it sorta counts right?”

 Sanji pulls his head back just a bit, eyes searching Usopp’s face. He must have found what he was looking for because then his face breaks into the most beautiful radiant smile Usopp has ever seen and Usopp thinks Franky must have drugged him and planted some fireworks in his chest in revenge for one of their many prank exchanges because there’s no other way to describe why he’s feeling what he does so viscerally and with such intensity he didn’t think was possible.

 Sanji laughs lightly as Usopp pulls one of his hands away to touch the ring Sanji holds. They lace their fingers together, the ring pillowed between their palms, as Sanji leans forward and Usopp meets him halfway. It doesn’t quite work perfectly as Usopp’s nose gets in the way. This stopped being a problem quite quickly years ago, but it just shows how flustered they are now. They try again, this time lining up perfectly, each feeling the other’s megawatt smiles in their kisses.

 “I want to make you so happy.” Sanji says as he lets up. “So fucking happy.”

 “You already do”, Usopp smiles. “So happy that I’m not even mad at the fact that you are completely dominating this exchange and I’m not falling over myself with declarations of love. I’m still kinda in the speechless phase.”

 Sanji snorts, “Well, here’s to hoping we have all the time in the world to discuss it”. And then he dives in, once more, for the second kiss in their new chapter they open together.

  


 

Usopp wipes his drenched brow with the back of his arm, then tries to be more civilized and grabs the small towel from one of the many pockets sported by his work overalls. In all honesty the term rag suited it more because of the state it was in from wear and use. But eh, to-may-to, to-mah-to. 

Giving the bike he’d been working on one last once over, chest puffed out with pride for his handiwork, Usopp headed back to the break room. 

Mozu and Franky were there, chatting amiably and with energy typical to the Franky family. Usopp knocked on the open door to make his presence known. 

“Yo! Usopp-bro!” Franky grinned up at Usopp. “How’s your current project going?” 

Usopp walks into the room and gives Franky his practically mandatory fist bump, and then nods and gives one to Mozu. “Done with all the issues under the hood, now I just gotta make that magnificent bike nice and pretty.”

 “That reminds me,” Mozu says adjusting her colourful shades. “Zambai said that your stencils are in from the screen printing place. They’re for the bike right?”

“Yeah they are, and that’s great to know. Thanks.”

 Mozu smiled at him and began to scroll through her tablet. She was the secretary of sorts for the Franky auto shop.

 “Anyway, I’m beat.” Usopp said, patting his industrial gloves on his greasy overalls. “I’m taking my lunch break in my office.” 

“Noted! Keep up the good work bro! Hella SUUUPEEEEEERRR!!” 

Usopp fondly rolled his eyes and gave Franky a mock salute as he headed back to his office.  
  
  


_Suupeeerr!_  

_Suupeeerr!_

  _Suupeeerr!_

  _Suupeeerr! Suupeeerr! Suupeeerr!_  

 _Suupe-! Suup-! Su-! Su-!_  

_Su-! Su! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-! Su-!_

 

“Holy fuck!” 

_Suupeeerr!_

 “Now you know how we feel,” Mozu teased impishly, sticking out her tongue at Franky. Noticing his pout that was more adorable than it had any right to be “Just kidding. Love ya to bits boss.” 

“Okay. What the actual fuck is blowing up my phone so much?!” Franky pulls out his phone to see that it’s the Strawhat (as dubbed by Luffy) group chat. A catfight between Sanji and Zoro? Nah, Nami would have booted them from the chat until they cooled down. Luffy, Usopp and/or Brook going crazy with memes? Whatever it is, it better be worth it.

  
  


_Pirate King: Hey guys! ‘Sup?_

  _She-Witch: Work._  

 _Soul King: I’m going through rehearsals for a gig tonight!_  

 _Mr Doctor: Oooo! That’s great Brook. Good luck!_  

 _Soul King: Many thanks, Chopper dear._  

 _Bootleg Romeo: Luffy, you took my mug with you when we met up for lunch._  

 _Pirate King: ?_  

 _Pirate King: I did?_  

 _Pirate King: Oh yeah I did_  

 _Bootleg Romeo: Dumbass._  

 _Pirate King: This one?_  

_Pirate King: [img]_

 Attached is a selfie Luffy took while Sanji wasn’t looking as they sat down for lunch. Sanji looked as regal and suave as he usually did, nursing a white mug with orange floral prints.

  _Bootleg Romeo: Yes, that one._

  _She-Witch: ...is that?_  

 _Bootleg Sanji: Yeees Nami Dearest! T’is the mug you bestowed upon me for my birthday 4 yrs ago! I cherish it deeply._  

 _Mona Lisa: Sanji, that’s not what she was referring to._  

 _Mona Lisa: On that note, Congratulations. @Bootleg Romeo @Pinocchio_  

 _Moss Head: ?_  

 _She-Witch: WHEN.  WHERE. HOW._  

 _She-Witch: WERE THERE TEARS???_  

 _Moss Head: ???_  

 _Pirate King: Uhh Im nt following._  

 _She-Witch: Luffy you saw him in person an HOUR AGO_  

 _She-Witch: Look at his hands._  

 _Pirate King: Sanji has pretty hands so?_  

 _She-Witch: omfg_  

 _Mona Lisa: His fingers Luffy._  

 _Pirate King: Oh! Kool ring Sanji!_  

 _Moss Head: !!_  

 _Mr Doctor: EEEEEEEEEEEEE_  

 _Soul King: Oh my_  

 _She-Witch: ENGAGEMENT RING??_  

 _Bootleg Romeo: ;3_  

 _Moss Head: The lover boy is probably just playing house_  

 _Bootleg Romeo: Fak u_  

 _Iron Giant: O:_  

 _Iron Giant: SHUT UP_  

 _Iron Giant: NO WAAAAYYYYY_  

 _Iron Giant : [img]_  

Attached is a slightly blurred image of a flustered Usopp. Franky’s arm can be seen coming from offscreen holding one of Usopp’s work gloves. 

 _Moss Head: Huh wouldja look at that_  

 _Soul King: USOOOOPP! SANJIIII!!! CONGRATULATIONS_  

 _Mr Doctor: CONGRATS!!! <3 <3 <3_ 

 _Mr Doctor: You're getting married!! I've never been a groomsman before._  

 _Mr Doctor: I will be one of the groomsmen right? ;^;_  

 _Pinocchio: Of course Chopper. We wouldn't dare hold the wedding without you._  

 _Bootleg Romeo: Isn't he wonderful?_  

 _Moss Head: Ew._  

 _Moss Head: Usopp it's not too late to back out._  

 _Bootleg: As I start my shift in a few minutes, I will gladly imagine all the vegetables I chop are your blockhead scalp, algae carpet._  

 _Moss Head: Already thinking of me instead of your husband to be._  

 _Moss Head: Usopp, last chance._  

 _Pirate King: Zoro shut up_  

 _Moss Head: ouch_  

 _Bootleg Romeo: LOL I love you Luffy._  

 _Pirate King: ew no thanks I love Zoro._  

 _Moss Head: HA_  

 _Pirate King: and you love Usopp and that's why there's gonna be a_  

 _Pirate King: WEEEEEEDDIIIIIIIIINNGGG_  

 _Pirate King: I LOVE WEDDINGS_  

 _Pinocchio: If you took food out of the equation, would you still love weddings Luffy?_  

 _Pirate King: GAAAAAAASP_  

 _Pirate King: BLASFEMY USOPP! BLASFEMY!_  

 _She-Witch: Blasphemy, Luffy. Blasphemy._  

 _She-Witch: You're 26 Luffy. I thought we raised you better than this._  

 _Pirate King: The F is for FEELING_  

 _Mona Lisa: lol_  

 _Mr Doctor: XD_  

 _Pinocchio: Look, we can talk about this later._  

 _Pinocchio: I know you guys would rather harass Sanji and I in person._  

 _She-Witch: Oh, you know me so well Usopp._  

 _Iron Giant: Sanji and Usopp harrassment party Friday._  

 _Iron Giant: SUPER!!!!!!!_  

 _She-Witch: Fuck that, it’s Thursday._  

 _She-Witch: Usopp I’m abducting you before you even set foot out the door after your shift._  

_Pinocchio: Wouldn’t expect anything less._

  
  


Franky had blabbed, cooed and cried about the news to anyone who would listen -which happened to be his entire workforce- and before Usopp could say, Luffy get your own goddamned plate, his office was filled with cheers, jeers and mildly painful slaps on the back. 

Franky went through an entire box of kleenex (you can still hear him sniffling if you walk by his office door), they were now an hour behind schedule (which Iceberg wouldn’t appreciate), and Usopp’s arm hurt from sticking his arm out for all to ogle more times than he could count. 

Ugh, he fucking loved these bastards. 

Fully changed, tidied up and shift over with, Usopp was ready to head home for the day. Or so he thought. 

He hadn’t even taken three steps out the door of the main lobby and into the parking lot when his arm was tugged at firmly by slender arms. 

“I hope you didn’t drive here babe,” Nami said as she snuggled the top of her head onto the side of Usopp’s, her cheek smothering his solid deltoid. “Because I am stealing you and the only car we’re leaving this place in is my own.” 

“Nah, I took the bus today,” Usopp said as he turned to look at Nami, bashful grin on his face. “I... kinda knew this would happen anyway.” 

Nami fondly cackled and amiably slapped Usopp on the back. She kept her hand there for a moment as they grinned giddily at each other, and then took Usopp’s left hand in her right one. She turned it over and inspected the ring on his finger; staring at it in a sort of awe, like she was making sure it was there and tangible. 

And then suddenly, she smacked her hands down on Usopp’s shoulders, grip vice like. Usopp almost yelped but the sound died in his throat when he locked gazes with Nami. Her lovely amber eyes were sparkling and seemed as if fireworks were going off in them. She had a face splitting grin on her face that contorted like she had a cacophony of feelings fighting to be released but she just had to keep them sealed. 

Even though no words were spoken, Usopp got it loud and clear. He lifted his left hand in the space between Nami’s arms and wriggled his fingers. “Yup!” 

And at that the dam had broken. Nami let out a childlike and wonderfully juvenile squeal as she practically vibrated in place. She jerked Usopp back and forth, her grip on his shoulders not diminishing as she did so. Unable to help himself, Usopp squealed girlishly as well, holding his left hand to his chest. 

Nami finally released his shoulders, face looking like it hurt from all the smiling. “Usopp,” she breathed. “Usopp!” 

“I know!” He responded, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I know!” 

They interlaced fingers, hands clasped tightly. They jumped around like middle school girls, springing up from the floor like they were on the most delightful trampoline. 

“OH MY GOD, USOPP!” 

“I KNOW!” 

“HOLY SHIT! USOPP!” 

 _“I KNOW!”_  

By the time they stopped, they were both flushed in the face from exertion and excitement. 

Nami began leading Usopp towards her parked car. “Alright, future-Mr. Vinsmoke,” Usopp looked like his brains were going to melt out if through his ears at that. “We are gonna have a girl's evening and you will tell me every sappy, sweet detail until my blood is strawberry syrup and my boobs are marshmallows.” 

And as a gleeful snort-guffaw hybrid ripped out of Usopp’s throat, he and Nami practically skipped through the parking lot to Nami’s car.  
  


 

 _“Pfffffft!_ You’re not serious are you? You _fainted?!”_  

“Guilty as charged,” Usopp said beaming back at Nami over the rim of his tall glass. 

Nami had driven them to one of their favorite cafes. Robin and Chopper pretty much worshipped the place. It was a family business run by one of Nami’s best gal pals and her sisters. 

“Oh Usopp, you lame motherfucker. How I love you so,” Nami laughed into her fist in a poor attempt to conceal her her mirth. “But you know who loves you _mooooore_?” 

“Nami please,” Usopp ducked his head and shields his rapidly heating face with both hands. 

“ _Oh Usopp, before you want higher standards in a partner, I better put a ring on it!_ ” Nami said while making kissy faces. 

Usopp snorted into his palms for what must have been the 400th time that day, “Actually he said  wouldjubemahbichfrhopefllyfrever…” 

“Nuh-uh! Speak up lover boy. Sing the cheese loud enough for the people in the back!” Nami declared with flourish holding an invisible microphone up to Usopp’s face. 

“...” Usopp slowly revealed a bit of his face, “He said “Would you be my bitch for hopefully forever?”.” 

Nami let the dessert fork she had been using to indulge in some chocolate cake fall clatter on to the table as her jam comically fell open, but her eyes were as bright as signal flares. A beat passed and as Usopp wondered if he should call her back to earth she let out a shriek and began kicking her legs like a kid who just got a puppy for christmas. Usopp was grateful Nami had the foresight to settle in outside on the patio and not indoors in the main cafe. That didn’t stop a few stray glances from coming their way though, but Nami didn’t seem to care even a little bit. And to be honest, neither did he. 

“Holy shit, when did that boy get so _smooth_?!!” she wheezed. “Okay, okay! And what did you respond with?!” 

“...” Before Usopp had the leisure to act flustered again Nami smacked her hands against his cheeks. 

“None of that Usopp,” she grinned encouragingly at him. “Focus.” 

Usopp laughed, his posture relaxing and releasing some tension he hadn’t realized he’s been holding. “Funny enough, just that.” 

He grinned and placed his hands on Nami’s, bringing both down to the table. “I smacked him just like you just did, asking if it was a dream. Then he responded saying that I was slapping the wrong person.” Usopp’s face flushes and splits with a grin, “Then I said ‘You’re half of me now aren’t you?” 

Usopp was pretty sure his ears would ring for a while, and Nami would lose her voice.

  
  


Usopp toed his shoes off as he entered his and Sanji’s apartment, and made his way to the couch in the living room.He set his work duffel bag down, before stretching and sagging into the comfy couch. Remembering what took place on that very couch not even twenty-four hours ago, Usopp let out a little squeal in confidence to the empty apartment. 

Lola had come out to tell them to keep it down because their squeals had gotten so loud, the customers indoors were starting to express slight frustration. But the moment she had asked what all the fuss was about, Nami leaped up and hugged her friend as she gave the gist of the situation. And before you know it, Nami, Lola and Chiffon (who had been called from the kitchen by her sister) were shrieking and raving in a circle while they left their poor wait staff and cashiers to bear the brunt of their disgruntled customers. 

Usopp got up from the couch before its sweet siren call got the best of him and picked up his duffel bag with his work clothes to sort what needed to go into the laundry basket and so on. 

Nami had dropped him off. On their way back in the car she asked if there was anymore details of the juicy variety for her to know while wiggling her eyebrows. They laughed. 

“Well,” Usopp smiled. “He did suck my dick with reverence like he was worshipping it. More so than usual.” He ended the sentence with a smirk and it was a good thing they were already slowing down in the driveway because Nami burst out in peels of laughter.  


Usopp laid down in a tank top and comfy sweatpants, scrolling idly through his phone in his and Sanji’s bed. He’d just had a shower and was sinking into the exquisite down blankets and comforter. Sanji was firm and fussy about stuff like that; he’s like the princess from Princess and the Pea. And Usopp had said that out loud to Sanji’s adorable chagrin. 

He'd raved to one, and now it was time to wriggle and swoon with his other most treasured gal pal/girlfriend. He opened his message app and began to type. 

 _Hey Kaya, hope your mission trip thing is going well. Or is that done and you're doing the ESL teaching thing now? I remember you mentioned going to Seoul. ANYWAY, I'm texting you to share the latest in the Misadventures of the Great Usopp._  

_Remember my boyfriend/partner/idiot-love-of-my-life Sanji? Well…_

  _[img]_  

Usopp grinned to himself sending Kaya a picture of his now infamous left hand, then tucked his phone in his pocket and decided to make arguably better use of his time. He picked up his sketchbook and favorite ink pen and got to doodling, cheeks red and wedding bells ringing in his ears.  
  
  


 

“Alright, good work guys. My shift is over and I'm retreating to the warm embrace of my very sexy lover!” 

The staff of the restaurant he'd been in assigned to oversee this week laughed amiably and some even whooped and hollered, with many friendly eye rolls. 

He took his coat, and was about to make his way to the exit when he saw an impish face snickering and grinning from a table. And from the looks of it, that lovable oaf had been waiting just for him. 

“Luffy. I figure you're here to return my previous mug?” 

“Oh- yup!” 

“Reay?” Sanji said looking at Luffy's hands. 

“Yes! That is what I came for!” 

“Then how come you've come empty handed?” 

“...” He looked at Sanji's amused face before fessing up. “Okay I didn't come here for that.” And though he admitted to his white lie, there was no trace of guilt on his face whatsoever. 

Sanji huffed a quiet almost-laugh and sat in the other chair at Luffy's table. Luffy just looked at him; at first as if inspecting him, but then his face twisted in a coy indulgent grin. 

“Hey.” 

Sanji humored him. “Hey.” 

Luffy didn't miss a beat. “Hey.” He said, voice going deeper and grin spreading. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey.” This time, Luffy shimmied his shoulders and raised his eyebrows suggestively with a shit eating grin. 

Sanji laughed and then reached out with his left hand to flick Luffy's nose with his fingers. Luffy took the opportunity to grab Sanji's hand and look at the ring. 

“This is so great, Sanji! The best!” 

Sanji beamed and sat there glowing as Luffy continued: “I mean, you make Usopp so happy! And that makes me happy. And this makes you happy. And I love you guys and Usopp is my best friend and you're so great Sanji!!! Congratulations!!!” 

Luffy wouldn't win an award for prose but damn did his words and sentiment shoot through him like a sniper shot. 

“Luffy…” 

“Wait, are you crying?!” 

“Sh-shut up you shitty dumbass!” 

Luffy just laughed and reached out to ruffle Sanji's hair affectionately, which earned him another biting snarl.  
  


 

Usopp was almost done with his squats, stretching etc routine, when he heard the telltale sounds of the lock mechanism just a second before the door opened. 

“Yo.” 

“Yo.” Sanji said, barely breaking eye contact as he took of his shoes and hung his coat. They smiled at each other and just indulged in that moment. 

Usopp resumed doing the last of his cool down stretches as Sanji set off to make their nightly ritual of tea/hot chocolate with a light snack before bed. 

When Usopp was done, he sat Down seiza style in his exercise mat. He looked up to see Sanji coming to join him after he had turned on the electric kettle. 

They sat there staring at each other for a moment before Usopp became a little flustered and started his trademark Peacock routine. 

“I-I see you are unable to look away from the divine visage that is I, Usopp.”

 Sanji only sighed dreamily and rested his head in one hand. “Damn straight, that's why I had to put a ring on it. I was tired of having to constantly swat away leering eyes.” 

Usopp pinwheeled his arms and his torso falls back against the couch. “You smoo- You smooth bastard.” He said as blood and warmth spread through his chest, face flushing. 

“Look at who my fiance is; of course I'd learn to have a way with words.” Sanji grinned as he closed in on Usopp. 

“How long will this go on for?” Usopp tried to sound exasperated. 

“For the rest of our lives, hopefully.” Sanji began angling his face around Usopp's nose, obviously going in for a kiss. 

“I'm holding you to that promise.” Usopp reached his hands to cup Sanji's face and pulled him the rest of the way for the kiss.

  
  


Zoro tucked his arms in, sticking them to his sides in a meager attempt to seal in the little body heat he had. He was wearing his usual short sleeved muscle shirt. With the weather lately, he’d been fine. In fact he’d been fan-fucking-tastic in the morning. The first few days of September were here and with that, summer was bidding all a farewell. So it’s only natural the nights would grow cooler and cooler. 

Of course, Zoro had oh so conveniently forgotten this. 

Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t really remember his way to the club they were supposed to meet at tonight either… 

Shit. 

“Hey, Moss Head! Wrong way!” 

Zoro turned in the direction of the familiar and welcome (although you’d have to deliver one of his testicles to his own hands before he’d admit it) voice to see Sanji coolly standing by the corner of the intersection -wearing a warm looking finely tailored suit coat, the bastard- smirking at him. “As Usual.” 

“Oh shut it.” Zoro rolled his eye and walked towards Sanji, who pushed off from the wall he was leaning on to meet Zoro halfway. They knock elbows, the motion fond and casual, a familiar gesture between them. 

They walked in amiable silence as Sanji lead them to where they were supposed to go. Zoro took in the scene around them in vain, in hopes of one day actually know his way there, yet at the same time coming to peace that if he couldn’t do it the 78th time, the 79th would be no different. 

Usopp and Chopper said they’d been counting. 

His train of thought is broken when he hears Sanji clear his throat in that telltale, not subtle way people do when they want to talk. A beat or two pass and Sanji still hasn’t said anything. 

“Yes, perv?” 

Sanji goes from hesitant to embarrassed and slightly furious, but before he can indignantly respond Zoro cuts him off with a warm smile. 

“Congratulations you shit. Usopp’s fucking precious, you better treasure him.” 

Sanji looks like he had been verbally tripped by Zoro’s words. Zoro savoured the millisecond of confusion on Sanji’s face before his face broke into a begrudging radiant smile-frown fusion. 

“Do you really expect anything else from me?”

“To be honest, no,” Zoro says and then grins at Sanji. “But who am I if I’m not giving you shit?” 

Sanji returned his grin. “Speaking of you always giving me shit…” He said as he covered the lower half of his face with his hand. While it could look like he was trying to hide an embarrassed expression to a third party, Zoro could tell Sanji was trying to shield the earnest smile that broke out on his face. 

“Um...You wanna give me shit as my shitty best man?” 

Sanji looked Zoro square on with one of the most open expressions he’s ever worn with him. 

Zoro halted his steps, and spoke with the regal discipline he usually only showed before a kendou match, “It would be my utmost honour.”  


Sanji, flabbergasted, ran into an open door of a small 24hr convenience store. Zoro indulged himself in huge peels of belly laughter, squeezing his torso in exaggeration to mock Sanji even more. Sanji began cursing him out and aimed kicks at Zoro’s legs, to which the swordsman deftly evaded. 

And they were both grinning like fools the entire way to the club.

  
  
  


Usopp had been waiting by the door, making small talk with his dear friend and bouncer of the  part club, part bar, Bon Clay. They were a darling too pure for this world. They had also held up the line for a good five minutes just gushing over Usopp’s engagement and smothering him with physical affection and congratulations. A few people tried to voice their discontentment at being ignored but quickly shrunk back as Bon Clay demonstrated exactly why they were Ivankov’s most fearsome bouncer. 

Usopp stopped distracting him, but Bon was still glowing like an agent of romance. He was about to pull out his phone out of his pocket to check when the rest would get here, when a familiar lithe warm weight all but tackled him. There was incredible force behind the attack and he wouldn’t be standing if he hadn’t been used to it for years. 

“Hey Luffy.” He smiled at his best friend. 

Luffy took the greeting as permission to latch his legs around Usopp’s waist and hook his ankles together at the back. “Usopp!” 

“Geez, you’re an adult with facial hair Luffy.” Usopp’s words were chiding but he ruffled Luffy’s hair fondly. 

Luffy completely ignored his statement and proceeded to rub and nuzzle his cheeks against Usopp’s, ecstatic smile on his face. “You’re getting maaaarrriiiieeeeeddd!!!” He dragged out the word like a kid on an elementary school playground. 

And it filled Usopp’s insides with warmth. 

“Yup, buddy.” He grinned back and looked him in the face. “Will you be my best man?” 

Luffy gave Usopp the most exaggerated, flat and unimpressed look he could muster, tinged with a bit of frustration and betrayal. It was just like the time he and Nami had planned a summer trip for them all and had chosen a luxury tour bus route, instead of the other option: taking the hiking pass for two days with a night of camping in between. 

“Usopp,” Luffy said emphatically with all seriousness. “The fact that you had to ask that hurts more than anything.” Luffy stops using his own power to cling to Usopp and sags as deadweight, purposely trying to burden Usopp. “ _You’re tearing me apart Lisa!_ ” 

Usopp adjusted his stance to hold Luffy better as they both laughed in droves, the way they always did together. 

“Oh my god, Zoro. Aren’t they fucking adorkable?” 

“I hate to agree with your dartboard face, but yes. Yes they are.” 

Luffy turned his flexible neck -in a way that would be extremely uncomfortable and/or impossible for most people- to face Zoro. 

“Zoro!” Luffy yelled and leapt up and away from Usopp’s body, limbs spread like a flying squirrel and right into Zoro’s arms. Zoro received him with a near mute grunt. Luffy had done all of that without so much as a foot touching the floor. As expected of an olympic athlete. 

“Gimme a smooch!” Luffy commanded. Zoro laughed as he obliged the ridiculously delivered request, smiling like the lovestruck fool he was. 

“D’aww,” Usopp cooed as he watched the two. He turned to see Sanji looking at him with wide, earnest and innocent eyes. His entire demeanor eager and finger pointing aggressively at his own face. 

“You big baby,” Usopp affectionately mumbled as he craned his neck up to indulge Sanji, who practically preened and exhaled a self satisfied hum.

And if you looked to the right, by the front of the line to get in, you would see Bon Clay having a field day taking videos and pictures, for these moments were too precious for the world not to see.

  
  


As the four walked into the club, they maneuvered their way through the people heading straight to their usual booth in a cozy corner, away from most of the hysteria. Ivankov even labeled it with a plaque for them. _‘For the Monkey boy and his friends.’_  

Zoro and Luffy had been walking ahead of Usopp and Sanji, and as they approached the booth, Luffy and Zoro dramatically slid from the center to the sides (Luffy with ten times Zoro’s flair), as if opening elevator doors. 

Before Sanji and Usopp could become confused, Brook’s well trained voice broke out clearly despite the cacophony of the club. 

“And a one, and a two…” 

“ _DAAA-DA-DADA-DA-DA-DA-DAAAAH! D-D-DAAH!”_  

The whole gang broke into the classic Wedding March theme that was known instinctively by all, even if you didn’t know its name. 

Chopper was blowing bubbles with youthful vigor, dipping the blower back into the fluid erratically, face scrunched up in delight. Robin was clapping merrily along to the rhythm of Brook's violin (he really brought that thing everywhere). Franky and Nami were shooting those little confetti canon things, which they most definitely got from Ivankov because that's the kind of stuff they just happen to have in storage). 

Even Zoro was joining in, hands cupped around his mouth to project his off tune singing. He seemed to be having a field day teasing Sanji. Luffy wriggled about Sanji and Usopp waving his precious strawhat at them like he was trying to fan them. 

Usopp and Sanji were flushed red but wearing beaming smiles. Usopp made a show of dipping Sanji -and the lovable fool did his part to elegantly raise his leg up in the air, showing off all his years of ballet- and kissed him. There were whoops around the table and even from people at neighbouring tables. 

They sat and drank, and _drank_ , and laughed like they usually would. But today it was magnified by the sheer joy and excitement among all of them. 

For Sanji and Usopp, it was a whole different kind of heaven, not just to have each other, but to have such amazing loved ones who you can share your joy with and be as happy for you as they would be for themselves.

 

Sanji boldly recounted their proposal to the table, Usopp flushing but beaming, hiding his face in Luffy's shoulder. Nami chimed in here and there like she was on a game show, jumping in on her favourite parts from what Usopp had told her. Zoro was openly laughing and pointing at Sanji at some points, but not even that could deter him. Luffy, Franky and Chopper looked on dreamily, cooing through it all, Franky being the loudest of them. and Robin had her face in her palm, looking like a lovestruck teen. 

After it had settled down for the most part, and they begun talking about the latest happenings in the other's lives. Sanji found himself talking to Robin. 

“Sanji, mind if I ask you something?” 

“I'm always at your service, dear Robin.” 

She let her smile reach her eyes at that. “Why did you decide to pop the question? What made you decide to get that next level seal to make him a keeper?” 

“Robin this is Usopp we're talking about,” Sanji said, his smile a bit bashful. “You _know_ all the many reasons to seal the deal.” He looked towards the dance floor and Robin followed his gaze. Luffy and Usopp were having a blast on the dance floor; freestyling and sometimes doing synchronized choreographed moves of popular dance trends, past and present. They were both actually pretty good. Usopp edged out in skill but Luffy more than made up for it with his energy. They were a few hollers of encouragement here and there from onlookers. But that was just like them, being the center of attention. 

Robin turned back to Sanji. “Yes, I concede to the fact that I know why you or anyone would,” she giggled at Sanji's minute frown at the word 'anyone’. “But humour me, from one hopeless romantic to another. I'm really curious as to know what's unique to you, because it's there, as it always is with love.” 

“Other than all the reasons you already know from our late night girl chats and the odd sleep over?” 

“Yes Sanji.” 

Sanji gave a shit eating grin before saying matter-of-factly, “I'd suck a fart outta that ass.”  
  


 

Chopper had rushed over in concern when he'd seen Robin sputtering and coughing on her glass of wine, only to be surprised to see her laughing with gusto- in her own way of course. 

At a little past 2AM, the group decided it was enough for the night and decided to head home. Everyone bid their goodbyes and went their separate ways. Although not before Sanji could get no less than twelve pictures of Luffy carrying a passed out Zoro piggy back style from all the best incriminating angles. 

Sanji and Usopp walked along the street a few blocks away from their apartment. Their hands were held tightly, fingers interlaced. Sanji seemed to be more inebriated of the two, pressing himself against Usopp's side, whispering French and growling into Usopp's ear. 

“Hey, Sanji?” 

Sanji stopped mouthing the shell of Usopp's ear and pulled back only a little bit to get a look at Usopp's face. “Hm?” 

Usopp poked the tip of his long nose against Sanji's. “I love you.” And he laughed as Sanji turned to a puddle right then and there and made declarations of love in English and French like he was speaking in tongues. 

He thanked whatever higher power was out there for his partner and soon to be husband.  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed it please let me know. 
> 
> I intended for this to be a lengthy oneshot, but I ended up breaking it up. We need more SanUso, I came to be part of the spread.


End file.
